Hill’s Billy (September 21, 1996)

Hill: So what did you do today, hon?

Bill: Oh, you know…official stuff. Signed some things, paid some bills…

Hill: I hope you didn’t sign our fortunes away to some Jesse Jackson charity!

Bill: No, no! I just signed a stupid gay marriage thing.

Hill: Oh, how wonderful! I always loved the lesbians at Wellesley.

Bill: No, I banned federal recognition…I mean, families are
families… we can’t have depraved HIV positive orgies in the American
living room, you know? Plus, it’s a reelection year.

Hill: Well, I guess let’s have hot hetero-normative family-oriented sex in the
pre-constitutional bedroom then, shall we? I asked Maria to make
hospital corners, just like you like!

Bill: You know, I’m kind of worn out. It’s those estrogen-leaching
plastics; I think they’re killing my testosterone. I’m switching to
metal, ok?

Hill: Okay, dear. Hey, I found a cigar in your bathroom. Are you
smoking these days?

Bill: Oh, no, well, yes, I mean, sometimes…in the bath, to uh, unwind.